Ooooo! Pretty...

I am so beyond excited!

Dad painted the family room. I picked this fun, warm red. The room looks completely different, and I LOVE IT! He did a fantastic job. I also found pretty paisley curtain panels for $9.99 each for the family room windows, and they complete the look of the room.

Mom finished the curtains, and Dad and she hung them in the guest room on Sunday. They are so lovely. I can't wait to add the art work in the room, as well as get a day bed and desk in there.


Next, I will buy the paint for the other guest room. Friends are coming over Friday morning to put the magic mover things underneath some heavy furniture and move it to the center of the room so the room can be painted.

Summer Television Guilty Pleasures

Season 5 of Project Runway is underway, and I have to say at first, ick. Wasn't happy. Wasn't impressed. This week changed my mind.

One of the designers, Leanne, was in the bottom two last week. This week - my personal opinion - she should have won the challenge. I would venture to say the judges tossed a coin to pick the winner. The skirt she created for her challenge was extraordinary. I would buy it tomorrow.

The winner, Kenley, designed something out of my 1980s closet, but there was something whimsical about it (see the picture below Leanne's design). So, while I don't blame the judges for picking it, the workmanship on Leanne's skirt - the scalloping - was just exquisite.

What I love about Project Runway is that it's like looking at living art. It's just amazing the talent they find each year. I'm getting over my gripe that some of these folks have been doing this for quite some time.

What makes me nuts this season: Suede. Suede is one of the designers, and don't get me wrong - he's got talent. But...

He talks about himself in the third person. As in "Suede likes what Suede did. Suede thinks Suede rocked this challenge out. Suede likes his model and Suede would never give her up."

Cheryl wants to throttle Suede. That's all Cheryl is saying.

My other guilty pleasure: Wipeout. Wipeout is a game show where people try to conquer ridiculous obstacle courses for $50,000. It's not so much what they do - it's what the commentators say about their efforts. I was at the gym last week when it was on, and I damn near fell off the treadmill laughing. One of the contestants was 19, weighed about 90 pounds, and was a self-proclaimed geek. He rocked the qualifying round. The commentator said it wasn't bad...for his first time outside. These guys KILL me! Love it. This game, while completely juvenile (the commentators talk about the 'big red balls' obstacle course with great glee), is a riot!

I totally dig game shows. Not so much reality shows (even though I do watch Project Runway), but I love a good game show. I find myself rooting for all the contestants, because they really put themselves out there. Good for them. I might need to add "Participating in a Game Show" to my goals!

The Mayor of the DMV

On Tuesday, I had to go to the DMV to get my name change card. I can't remember the last time I've gone to the DMV for anything other than getting my driver's license photo taken.

I will say the people at the DMV could not have been nicer. All two of them.

Now, ask me how many people were waiting in line? Go ahead. Ask.

There were about 40 people when I arrived. Oh, and the building is about the size of a small happy meal box, and the line of people was wrapped around the building. Oh, and it was over 90 degrees outside. And there was no place to stand in the shade.

Oh, and it's the DMV, which means it's Wacko Central. Which means it's a beacon for my weirdo magnetism. The guy in front of me went into great detail about how his blood pressure was 117/172 (so I'm not sure how he's still alive), and how he got into a horrible car accident earlier in the year - which was a terrible shame. But, then, to add to the story - he had show 'n tell. Apparently the accident knocked out all his teeth, because he demonstrated to the woman in the unfortunate position of being directly behind him in line how he could drop out his top and bottom dentures. Blamo. One set of teeth drops, and then the other. Ta-da!

Ewwwwwwwww.

In addition, he was trying to make friends with everyone in line. Let me be clear: it was 90+ degrees, and it took me a total of two hours to get a name change card. I was in no mood for this guy. I managed to avoid eye contact. He did try to inform me how to do what I needed to get done - as with all the other people in the crowd. I later figured out why he was being so friendly with everyone: He needed a lift. He kept saying how he wasn't sure how he was going to get to the next town. The woman directly behind him started to give him directions, and he said, "Oh, I know how to get there. I just don't know how I'm going to get there. I hitchhiked here, and I need to hitchhike there." The guy in front of him subtlely moved as far away as he possibly could. Oy.

The woman in back of me was about the size of a Hobbit. She was just as interesting - and twice as annoying. Did I mention the heat? Well, she thought the best place to stand was right next to me. And I mean right. next. to. me. Grrr.

At one point, we were right outside the door, and the couple in front of me was kind enough to open the door so that we could get some air.

This is what happened next:
Hobbit: "Scuze meeeeeeeeee. Shut ze dooooor. Shut ze doooooooor. Hello? Scuze meeee."
Me: "Lady, we're getting air!"
Hobbit: "No, ju dun't understaaand. If dey leave ze door open, we will have no air for oos when we get in dere. Shut ze doooooor. (Repeat Shut ze doooor about 50 times.)"

I finally crawl inside, with the Hobbit attached to me.

Then:
Hobbit: "Ooo. I dun't know if I am in ze riiight line."
Me: "What are you here for?" (Obviously there were two meanings to my question...)
Hobbit: "My license expired."
Me: "You're in the right line."
Hobbit: "Are ju shure?"
Me: death glare

Then:
Hobbit: "Hey. Heeeey. Do ju know who I make ze check out to?"
Me: death glare "No, I don't."
Hobbit: "Ooooh. Cuz I dun't know who to make ze check out toooo. Ooohhh." whining ensues
Me: Ignores Hobbit for rest of the time in line.

I don't know how it happened, but I became the information center for the Hobbit. It was too darn hot for this much concentrated weirdo magnetism.

The good news is I have a new story for the book I'm writing. The better news is that I am one step closer to making my name change public. Woo-hoo!

Random Weekend Musings...

• The Stair Master is still evil. But, manageable. I was able to grunt, heave and stumble through a 15-minute session on the automated machine at my gym.
• One. Frakin. LB. I am so close to 30lbs of weight loss, I can taste it. Unfortunately, it didn't taste quite as good as the Dairy Queen chocolate milk shake I had Saturday night. Hence relegating myself to said evil Stair Master on Sunday.
• Viggo Mortensen is hot. And a total badass. I watched Eastern Promises on Saturday night. Not only is he a good actor, but he is ripped. There is not one ounce of fat on the man's body. Everyone who has seen this movie knows the scene I am referencing.
• Mosquitoes suck. Literally and figuratively. I've been bitten twice this weekend. Bugs are really beginning to ruin my sense of calm.

The Stair Master is Evil

During this time in my life, I needed a healthy distraction. I rediscovered the gym, primarily the treadmill.

About three weeks ago, I hit a weight-loss plateau. My friend suggested I try a different machine. I think they call it muscle confusion.

So, I tried the StairMaster. Once. The Stair Master, after two minutes, kicked my butt. I sent a text message to my friend informing him switching up the exercise routine SUCKED.

I loathe that machine.

However, if I expect to continue to break the plateau, I must return to it.

Here's the thing I don't get. The machine emulates walking up stairs. I walk up stairs all the time. I don't hate normal stairs! Seriously - not digging the Stair Master. It's evil. Evil!

Oh, and the eliptical machine is no treat, either.

Can you tell I'm cranky?

Funniest Man on the Planet (or on E!)

I can't get enough of Joel McHale, the host of The Soup on E!

The guy is a frakin' riot. I remember John Henson, the original host from Talk Soup, and that show was funny. But Joel - Joel is pure evil. And really enjoys his role being completely devilish.

If you need a good laugh, this is the show. Just watch this collection of clips from the show:

Room, Interrupted

My poor Dad. He's immersed in making the house my sort of beautiful. I wonder if all the 'pretty' stuff is making him nuts.

I found this beautiful blue-violet color to paint one of the guest bedrooms. It's called Aphrodite. It's the first time ever I've had a wall in the house that isn't painted white. Sure, the living room has a stenciled chair rail, but the primary wall color is white. And now - I have a room that is this magnificent shade of blue. Dad has put up a few strokes of the color, and I already find the room tranquil, warm and friendly. A place you'd want to stay for a while!

In addition, Mom has offered to sew curtains for the room. I found a very pretty fabric. It was on sale to boot! It reminds me of a print I saw on the cover of a Pottery Barn catalog. While the background is a pale shade of lime, there are vibrant colors - blues, violets, reds, greens - that are going to make the window pop.

It's going to be such a transformation from the room that housed all of my husband's computer equipment. It was all white and metal.

Pretty soon it will pop with color and light and texture.

I'll be honest. I wish my soon to be ex could see this room. I really think he would have liked it, despite the floral curtains that are about to cover the windows. In a way, it's such a surreal thing. That was always his room. His office. His.

Now it's mine. When it's done hopefully it will feel like mine. Right now, I feel like I'm walking into a hotel room renovation and admiring what's being done to the place. I'm not even sure what that room will become. Perhaps it will be a home office. Or maybe a guest room. Or maybe a combination home office and gym.

In any case, it will be the first room that welcomes me home. That's such a great feeling.