Above Ground

Ok, so January was interesting. I spent the first week of it in the hospital, and the second week at home. This past week, I returned to my 'normal' life, which included going to work, a follow-up doctor's visit, blood work, getting into the car and driving solo, a quick drive by and 'hi' to Manfriend and his mother (the visit lasted all of 10 minutes before I felt tired and returned to my sofa at home) and going to my parents' house to see my sister and the most adorable child on the planet, my niece, Miss Lily Isabel.

I have an uncle, who when I get on the phone and ask him how he is, he always responds with the witty retort, "I'm above ground." We both laugh, even though there's still a cringe moment associated with the response, as he's been the recipient of six angioplasties. No, that's not a typo - SIX.

Well, peeps, I'm here to tell you that being above ground is a very, very good thing. I am grateful to have received excellent care at the hospital. I am grateful to have had the support and concern of my family, friends, Manfriend and his family and friends. I am grateful to be home with my nutball dogs. I am so happy to be able to make goofy faces at my niece and hear her giggle.

I'll be blatantly honest: None of what happened to me hit me until I got home. I made an error in judgment and started to read about DVT (deep vein thrombosis) and PE (pulmonary embolism) on the 'net as soon as I got home. DVT - ok, not bad. Not great - but not bad in and of itself.

The complication of having a PE though, not so much. Every web site said the same thing: "life threatening."

On that day of research when I was home, I looked at my dogs, who were sleeping comfortably next to me on the couch, and I thought: Who would they go to? Sure, my parents and Manfriend were great about taking care of the dogs: stopping in each day, feeding them, giving them people time. But that was for seven days. If I wasn't here to return to them, who would they go to? I didn't have a will, because I was 36 and healthy. That's when it hit me. And I cried for about an hour, hugging the both of them, realizing I was scared for them, and yet so grateful to be here and not...elsewhere.

I am grateful for so many things right now. Despite a weird beginning to 2009, I feel blessed. This is my wonderful life, and I take nothing for granted in it.